Thursday, September 22, 2005
i don'te know wat to write after when she came in and hug me. the hug means nth, i don'te feel my mom's warm anymore. now i wonder did i ever love her, ever since so many things happened? do i? i don'te know. do i even love my dad? i doubt ever since that day, he slapped me, for some reasons.
u kept screaming at me, for the things u found out that i lied to u. can u accept the things i want to do. no, u wont. other than hiding from u. i can't do anything else. fine, watever i promised u, i break it, im in the wrong. but i just doesnt like to face u at times. u make me feel lousy. made me feel like im the worst production of human. everytime i try, u put me down. however, i will prove it to u.
since i have my plans abt everything i want to do and be in the future. i have no fears.
sometime, i always wonder, i don'te look like him, nor u. am i reallie yor child? i wonder. where i come from?
wat else shld i write? i don'te know. todae is my day. so? anyone care? anyone bother? no, its just a dae. dumb ass. but i care. becoz of all the daes. i wanted todae to be happy, at least the happiest among. i cant. i couldnt. i was waken by this dream, u see, i don'te usually dream, i don'te know whether it is bad or good, but i just don'te like to dream abt ppl dying. and getting off bed, with fear. some more is your fren. and it start to pour, i don'te like raining dae.. coz everytime it rains, something bad will like happen. i don'te like it.. like some kind of bad omen.
after all, todae arent a good dae. so no point writting anymore.
im tired of pleasing ppl.
im very tired.
who can please me?
who's gonna make me happie?
myself? santa claus?
when all of u sae ' i want u to be as happy as us'.
find the happiness for me then.
action speaks louder than words.
` i want to sleep.
mr 22, u sux big time!!
the kiss of imu at