Tuesday, September 26, 2006
quite a few things happened to me.. had a big fight with mom.. having the mentality of killing her.. mom found out i wore binder.. suspecting jie and ash.. suspecting me.. alot of things happened.. but im feeling better now.. much much more.. this are not actuallie wat i want to say.. fight with my mom is 1 of my blow..
my 2nd blow, i went to find little princess, coz chickens say she have been working very often.. went down after external to look for her.. send her home.. the journey back to her home, she's very cold towards me.. only 1 word answer from her mouth.. actuallie i thought i reallie put my feelings down for her, till the next day.. i felt pricks on my heart.. i didnt tell anyone except darren.. when we reached the lift, she asked me this: do you still like me? woah, im shock pls.. i replied: don'te know.. i thought the will be positive answer from her.. nahx.. she told me to give up cause she liked someone else.. at first i thought she said it to shoo me away.. nope, she fallen for my darling.. and i was the one who guessed it right.. i reallie felt pricks on my heart, the next dae i went to find rey.. sigh.. im trying to avoid her, so i kept staying in the office and talk to rey, hazel, rey and jasper..
during external i saw my ex- crush cum eye candy.. simone..
from 3D-big fight with mom-2nd blow.. very sad and very psychotic..
so many things happened to all of us, cliques we should hug each other and give each other support..
u don'te come out from the bathroom, with ur towels on and give me that look..
u don'te give me that stare right into my eyes when i said i felt lonely at times, and that u felt the same too.. and u want a r/s like u guys are frenz, and bla bla..
the kiss of imu at
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
im demoralised, depressed, turning autistic soon,very lack of sleep . i didnt turn up for my 3D presentation.. so did the 4 of them.. have been staying over with teresia.. to support and make sure she do her 3D and accompany her.. coz michelle went back home, she's scared to stay home alone in that big flat.. lost my cap on the cab on the way to her house.. coz i only got 2 hands and i took off my cap when im on the cab.. i was in my boxers when im doing my box, she went to bath, then i was outside watching tv and doing my work, i only know her ex-gf and michelle got her keys.. i heard ppl trying to open the door, im like having speech bubbles inside my head, like fuck, don'te tell me its her ex.. but its her mom and dad, they came back.. the mom pointed at me and asked: who are you? i stammered.. im teresia's fren.. the mom was kinda nice after that, gave me some cakes and food.. her dad bought her a guess bag and a watch.. becoz she don'te want her mom and dad to nag.. so we went into the room, she showed me her past photos and baby pictures.. i actually brought mine too.. so we were talking and talking abt her younger and our retarded days.. funny.. then her fren called.. so i went out cause im bored.. went to draw circles.. went out to macs with our work, coz we are hungry.. brought our stuff.. sat down at macs, ordered food, talked and eat.. till 2 plus and we started to do our work.. then whenever i want to reply her the cars passed by, and she will like:huh?? everytime i wanna talk the cars, lorry, bikes passed by.. so i shouted, act retarted.. laugh non stop..
went back around 5 plus, im still cutting my circles, she's still drawing and cutting her donnoe diamond or kite shape.. till around 6.40, i cannot take it so we went in to take a nap.. she's still doing her polygon, i try to sleep.. woke up at around 10.30am.. i was the one who disturb her again, i threw bolster at her, and she woke up immediately.. coz she got nightmare of my circles.. haha, so cute la.. her nightmare was she was standing on the artcut, running away from this monster with 2 blades on its hands and trying to kill her and she's wearing heels and everytime she step on this artcut the thing will break apart.. hahaha..
here comes the demoralising part.. its going to rain or it started to rain when we went out to get more materials.. we are already some walking zombies, now u gave us this weather.. they don'te sell my colourful matchsticks.. and they don'te sell her paper clay.. cabbed to artfriend again.. buy her clay, buy artcut,buy cloth, buy saw, buy stick.. cabbed back to her house.. so tiring.. do and do till jasper came with rene.. helped her spray her clay and stick made my fingers look as though its polished.. keep on doing, while she do her horse.. went to sim lim tower with jasper coz she said that they might sell spring.. they do but very small.. we couldnt understand each other.. thats the next demoralising thing..sigh..
jasper and rene left, while we are still doing till like 7 plus, i couldnt take it.. i need to sleep.. so we went to bed.. slept till 11pm..
most demoralising part is happening.. her clay horse crack badly.. i don'te know hw to sew my spider.. we went into the room, smoked.. think.. depressed and demoralised.. we decided that we did our best.. so we'll stop and shall not go school..
suddenly i felt naseous, so did her.. she thinks that we should eat porridge.. so i was sitting down at the dinning table.. i was looking at her cooking porridge, and cutting mango.. and we talked... it was nice though its just instant.. i felt the warmth.. watched malcom in the middle, felt asleep..
the kiss of imu at
Saturday, September 16, 2006
i will blog a little here and there.. this time when i was going home, i was so fed up by this 2 block of lard and a gala. happily talking when the pathetic me is holding my artcut, a bouquet of stinky lilies and my portfolio.. wa.. walk one straight line somemore.. fucking hell.. everyone look at me as though im a retard pls..
went teresia house to toned.. retarded la.. realie.. tell u the story later on.. coz i want some sleep..
im glad u're not smart.. haha..
i know i cant change your liver, lungs, stomach. probably your brain..
i know u are carrying a very heavy load..
i might do stupid and retarded things that u might not know..
but wat i scared is, one day u asked me do i like u?
i don'te know how to answer..
ppl say i already have fallen for you..
but me and your hearts are numb..
the kiss of imu at
Thursday, September 07, 2006
phone repaired.. now on my table.. and u noe wat? my profile name is 'i wanna be your man'.. damned.. mommy so gonna know.. i will talk abt the surprise when im not so sleepy and tired and worried..
i didnt know u bother to listen to wat happened to me..
i thought all along im just a listener to you?
am i?
the kiss of imu at
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
im very annoyed now.. by this stupid phone's ringtone.. and have not been in school for 2 days.. not that i don'te want to go.. thanks to the phone, i couldn wake up for both lessons.. and im very angry with myself for that..
this are somethings i wouldnt denied
i do enjoy your company..
i enjoy listening to the things u said,
coz u never failed to make me laugh or smile.
although sometimes i don'te like the way u talk,
but u actuallie have ur unique way of talking(sacasm).
at times, i don'te understand why u tell me so many things
(maybe, im the only single bung around this clique)
but some things that happened to u,
i will get worried, but im afraid to care.
thats why when u're with me or us,
i will force or when u asked me whether u should eat.
i will definitely say:yes
coz i know u have gastric problems.
i don'te mind waking up early to wake u up,
seriously i don'te want u to get out of school.
thats why i try to do so much.
whatever u say, i do keep thinking in my mind.
i know i look like a kid to u..
becoz i don'te even look like my age..
im sure u know, i don'te act like my age at times.
either childish or mature..
when i come to think abt it..
u actuallie do make a good wife..
i hope i have the courage to sing wat paul sang.. To you..
don'te die so young..
the kiss of imu at
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
went to watched movie with teresia.. watched the devils wear prada.. hmm nice.. after that when to meet josh.. don'te know wat happened.. my hp hanged.. fucked.. so i took out my battery, and try to on it again.. fucked.. spoiled.. sigh, my 1 year anniversary coming, and u gonna leave me w/o celebrating with me? hw could u? sad-ed.. then now im using daddy's phone.. went to the sim archive, saw this message.. so sweet.. 'i love u 22'.. very long since anyone call me that.. and i showed josh.. and he's like ' i love u 22' all the way home.. that idiot.. and that idiot is sicked.. when to eat sakae, after that he went to puke.. and puke twice.. wat a waste.. want to bring him see doc.. that lovelorn.. beyond cure.. he wants his 'her' to bring him to see doc.. hope he recover fast.. sigh..
the kiss of imu at
went to watched movie with teresia.. watched the devils wear prada.. hmm nice.. after that when to meet josh.. don'te know wat happened.. my hp hanged.. fucked.. so i took out my battery, and try to on it again.. fucked.. spoiled.. sigh, my 1 year anniversary coming, and u gonna leave me w/o celebrating with me? hw could u? sad-ed.. then now im using daddy's phone.. went to the sim archive, saw this message.. so sweet.. 'i love u 22'.. very long since anyone call me that.. and i showed josh.. and he's like ' i love u 22' all the way home.. that idiot.. and that idiot is sicked.. when to eat sakae, after that he went to puke.. and puke twice.. wat a waste.. want to bring him see doc.. that lovelorn.. beyond cure.. he wants his 'her' to bring him to see doc.. hope he recover fast.. sigh..
the kiss of imu at
Friday, September 01, 2006
when u don'te want anything.. things comes right to you.. sickening right? i find that it is very sickening.. u know why i say so? because it comes in a sale..
i always think alot.. don'te wanna waste my brain cells.. and also like to make things difficult to understand.. make simple things into difficult things.. why? don'te like to be conquered? probably.. i don'te write wat i supposed to write.. i do wat i wanna do.. thats why i always say, don'te try to read my mind.. maybe im just writing wat i feel..
maybe i've changed.. i don'te know.. im getting more and more weird.. thats wat i think..
the kiss of imu at