love is in the air ♥

this thought came into my mind.. when i scolded rey ytd night.. she nearly made hazel cry la.. cannot stand it anymore. becoz i don want everytime i going off i make sure i help to settle everything.. the chickens are very used to me leaving them for a moment and going to somewhere else to work.. before i go.. the last person i wanna talk some senses in, is rey.. so i scolded her instead.. they told me when im angry my ears go red immediately.. good hint, if im angry my ears red.. suddenly rey pushed the topic to fida.. then abt me.. asking me, hey i thought u wanna do that thing for her? then bla bla bla.. i siad, i give up already.. but i cannot forget her.. not so soon.. maybe next year.. how long it takes.. i donnoe..
and i wanna say this before i turn in, my regret before this yr ends.. i regret naming u my bro.. knowing at times u are using me.. or us.. now u got small brother, don want us.. expired... now is not u leave us.. i kick u out.. don come to us, during malaysia trip.. u prolly go to chun heng.. have fun.. everytime i ask u to think when u talk for many reasons.. joke to a limit.. many.. thanks to you.. i have less problems.. u are a damned bloody coward.. one of a troublemaker.. another piece of shit.. enjoy.. peace out.. think? why do i say so, for a reason? think la.. u can forget us like that? i can erase u like that.. im always the winner, without you,i bound to live in heaven haha.. mean, right hazel? darren teo.. im not someone who cannot live w/o this particular person, and i will die.. and i think u mean nth to me, saying all this doesnt made me wanna cry or sad.. anger!!

in the chickens, im always the least problems, the devil and the peacemaker.. no one ask whether i have a problem.. sad.. maybe im not a attention seeker, don have a problematic face, quiet towards my own problem.. give me some care and concern.. haha.. i don cry, don shout don vent anger doesnt mean im fine.. haha.. nvm, if i share with u my problem, u only can listen.. thats all i need.. thank you for reading.. if it bores u, sms me, tell me wat u wanna read.. i will write.. haha

saw an grandma go around beg for money, i gave her a dollar.. she fuckingly passed the money to this bloody bald fucker with 4 limbs.. u can work la! ur mother or whoever is limping.. u took the money go buy ciggs.. i see u one more time, i confirm call police!! i don care.. i tell the police straight.. i don care if u come find me, kill me.. don ever let me catch u again.. if not becoz of my stupid phone and lousy skills.. i will post this on and sent an email to the police post, catch u..

im exhausted..

the kiss of imu at 4:16 PM .

u know wat i like to do before i sleep.. i will stand infront of that mirror, use my fingers to brush through my hair.. to check whether i have more white hair.. and to use a measuring tape to measure my head.. haha.. measuring head is fake..

i dreamt of u..
and so i woke up in a shock..
why will such things only appear in dreams?

today i sigh-ed, i shout, i laugh

but i did 2 good deeds, first help teo and rey..
second i saw a $10 note i told the uncle..
thats what i sigh too..
10 bucks means alot man..

the kiss of imu at 12:26 PM .

i thought i recovered from that lay on bed cough, and cough till i had nose bleed. thanks to rey.. she past the virus to me.. but i also got worst coz i kept smoking and eating fried food.. until i couldnt reallie breathe.. i stopped both.. laid in bed when we are supposed to go m/s, so sad.. the 3 babis went there themselves.. never buy anything also.. i only felt better like todae.. went out to have lunch with josh.. went to the new cathay to watch movie, happie feet. penguins are so cute la.. nice movie, might watch again probably.. cause when the show going to end or climax, i don rmb.. my bladder bloat.. i wanted to pee.. didnt reallie enjoy.. anyway i watch 'step up' twice too.. don mind man.. it worth the tix price.. truely.. im getting the disc..
had too much nachos.. so didnt reallie had a good dinner.. wen to lucky plaza to play pool.. played awhile though. josh win.. went to towner, ade cannot recognise my backview.. laughs..
erm, i donnoe whether im sensitive or wat.. i think im rude towards her? she don seem to me that she wanna talk to me.. ya i liked u before.. but yea u told me to give up, and so i gave up coz u liked my darling.. no point holding on.. but still frenz yea? all right maybe nothing to talk abt.. maybe i didnt reallie face u.. nvm i leaving chickens for a while.. take care chickens.. keep me update if anything happens. like teo got a gf or smth.. coz i might be busy..
when faz comes out like every weekends or got celebration inform me before hand.. i will meet u guys yea.. now i feel like a bastard.. im not just job hopping.. grps hopping too.. i cannot get to sleep.. i couldn get anyone to talk to me too.. i got a shock.. probably still recovering.. then went to take med, after i vomitted i realised, i should take more note on the words wrote on the cover and not just, hey u and that guy look alike, i think u guys have the effect and i shall eat u too.. sounded a bim though.. so i ate the wrong med and i vomitted.. when i was pee-ing, i saw this slug or snail climbing on the wall, this isnt the first time i saw this fellow.. first was when i just woke up from a deep sleep after swallowing so many meds, i thought there's a snake near that chute, i rubbed my eyes and open it big to realise that was a pipe.. its yellow and in that sleepy and dreamy eyes of mine it look like a small python pls.. omg.. then saw that sluggy snail.. i let it off that day
it came and bother my pee today.. so i spray water and threw it down..
why am i forever so dumb?
hahaha..

when i was sick.
i made myself more sick..
to think back that u will cook porridge for me..
take care of me even..

nope u never call me again..
after the day of our assessement..
shld say after that night..

i truely misses u badly, woman..
im yearning to smell that scent on ur hair..
the silly but smart at times one..

how have u been?

the kiss of imu at 11:42 AM .

i reached home around 4 plus am.. now 5 plus am, later meeting josh 10 am.. i only realised that im meeting josh and rey at 10.. im thinking should i sleep a not.. haha, m/s might be cancelled.. most probably will..suprisingly joy came down to novena to find me during the crowd time.. sorrie darling, no time to even say hi.. im sorry.. i need some time before i can get back to you again.. don ask me why..
faz and me walk to shaw then walked all the way to towner, coz no bus.. not tat we have no bucks.. no point paying 6 bucks just to towner when its only like 4 bus stop away? so we walked.. talked.. i came to understand faz more.. besides darren teo.. he don usually express himself much.. he endured everything till he couldnt. but he's still enduring.. something in him that i admire him abt.. open the door saw ade, she say today very happening, so many ppl come down.. stayed awhile.. i sent him to the bus stop.. wen to sit at adams corner with the juniors, teo and curly(the nick i give him).. they left.. they paid walked back.. sat down and wait for jasper and marlon to finish his work.. went to smoke, jasper wants me to guess wats his age.. i said 24, ade guess 25.. both wrong.. jasper was agitated.. coz marlon look younger but actuallie older than jasper.. too bad la sir, u got a cute pauchy tummy, and a serious looking face.. where else, he still have the elvis presley hair style with a manly look.. hahaha..
went to adams corner again.. eat and eat only.. c-jae wong, from fat to fatter man.. but i walk alot.. so i maintained.. but i find that my face getting more chubby.. its covering my eyes.. haha.. ade eat and eat.. but in the end she went to puke.. poor thing..
i suspect im suffering from lungs infection too.. im having flu, coughing and coughing non stop.. wanting to puke.. the more i smoke and eat chicken the more i cough.. more i cant breathe.. my windpipe seems to be stuck with plegms..
went to hazel house playground with darren, hilmi and me.. 4 of us chatting.. this is the first time hilmi tell me abt his love life.. talking abt everything.. when crooks come tgt.. we are not shy to say wats our fucking, idiotic stupid past..
when we talked abt this i kept thinking.. why i cant maintain a long term? then i took my job hop experience as an example.. i like to try new jobs, new environment, new things, new ppl.. how can i be true to one if im so choosy or maybe flirt? am i? i ponder.. im still pondering..

sometime i think im talking like you
somethings i do, i will think back abt wat u've done..
its all in my head..

im also pondering abt this.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
now there's a _ h _ _ _ _ _ _
there was a missing H in ur name before i met u..
did u fpund that missing H already?
isnt a him or her?

the kiss of imu at 1:19 PM .

just came back from sebawang park, with feng, rey, darren and tony or michael? i donnoe.. haha.. i just came down from a very special vehicle.. damned cold.. the cold store vehicle.. damned cold.. fun ar.. watch ppl catch crabs.. so small.. looking at my own kind.. so funny.. very sleepy.. going to JB tmr.. sister still sick ar.. lungs infection.. so she might join us for the trip.. so i think i want to buy smth for her.. nothing much to talk abt.. rey quit.. going to find job tgt.. with josh..

i was looking through friendster..
i think i still look very young..
everyone grew up, faces changed..
my face still look the same..

the kiss of imu at 11:43 AM .

i want playmate!!
im so sick of facing the damned walls and the damned screens..
boring!!
i want someone to stay with me
talk to me..
go suntanning and play volley ball
become chao ta.. hahaha
eat koka noodles with me when we watch the stupid taiwan food show
go 7 eleven with me, and buy 55 cents banana and eat
do stupid things tgt..
play pool with chickens..
read archie and fall asleep tgt..
when im sad, drink with me till there's no tmr..
watch crayon till we fall asleep..
sleep beside me..
have pillow fights!!
haha..

wat else? hmm.. donnoe..

go east coast, stare at the moon till the sunrise
sigh..

the kiss of imu at 10:22 AM .

im going to blog, and jo called.. so i paused.. now im backed.. wat im gonna blog now.. it doesnt matter who i blog first yea..

darren teo
yea i know u want to have ur future with cl.. but did she say she wanna spend her rest of the life with you? did she even say she like u? everything is we TELL u, WE give you.. now u want me to woo her for you? make decision for you? no way bro.. your life.. be a man once, asked her urself.. touched her heart, stop being that ah flirt we used to call you.. prove to me or us that ur attitude has changed.. because ur attitude is still quite bad.. and live up to your words.. practice wat u preach, will you? don message us smth.. and doing smth else.. be a guy not a boy anymore bro.. NS looking for you soon.. by that time, u're supposed to be a man.. sometimes being stubborn is good, but overly stubborn will turn things sour.. im a passer by..

rey
my baby brother.. like wat i said to u at macs.. stop torturing urself and the 2 gals in ur life.. i know u don feel good.. so are they.. throughout this whole year.. i've seen u back to one square want.. again and again.. until, im waiting for you to say that sentence today.. not tired ar? u suffer, u also made the 2 of them suffer.. so i gave u 2 choices.. first: abandon this 2, be frenz w them.. stay a distance as a fren, and wait for who u think is the right one to come.. second: choose 1 of them, and don think abt the other. and keep a distance.. be true to one.. do think more for others not just urself..

mayo
do treat darren nicely yea.. a man also have dignity.. i know sometimes he's abit too lame and childish.. think properly, when u need someone the most.. he's always by ur side.. he might be a super glue to you.. but u know when he's not around u also don feel good.. when smth's are good enough, be contented.. don ask for too much.. because darren's can really be a good husband.. sometimes also must give way to me.. must also give him some face.. though we know each other well.. his a guy after all.. for you, stop making anymore regrets.. do think properly.. wat if one day darren can no longer take ur princess's and demanding attitude? u're smart.. i don wanna say so much..

fidah
yes, sister u're a female chauvinist.. u always have ur own thinking.. frenz always come first to you than faz.. i know u love faz alot.. do express ur love to him.. don treat him coldly suddenly.. or say break up to him.. working with him, i know he's sad.. but he's trying to put on a smile and laugh with us.. he needs ur support.. he's a nice guy just that he's a bit playful.. give him face.. he's a guy..sometimes because of u, he have to sacrifice time with family or quarrel w his mom.. do think of the things he do for you.. stop saying break up to him.. wat if one fine day he really leave u?

jo buddy
i neglected u the past few days when u needed me most.. u need a listening ear when im not around.. im sorry.. having u as a buddy, i have no regrets knowing you.. its a blessing and not a curse.. u've always been there for me.. knocking senses into my brain.. when u think, im going insane over some gals.. thanks alot for pulling me back.. wat more to say to you? w/o jo, w/o jae.. cj, u're the one who brought me to who i am today..

joy
sorry if i neglected you.. im too busy.. excuses.. u will always hear that from me..wats new? but i will never hide anything from you.. because we did almost all the stupid things in the world.. always by my side when i needed you the most.. never abandon me, when im dying in my own world.. i named u my ever lasting fren, joy vivi rouge.. we shared too much moments.. a gay that always stand out for righteous.. i salute you..

hey babe, u look great in that gown and that hair..
it seems as though u're ready to get married..

i know i miss you
i know im thinking of you
i cant stop thinking of you
i donnoe how long will it takes to get u out of my head

that noise just makes me wanna cry..
don ever make that sound..

the kiss of imu at 10:23 AM .

To one of my brother..
yes i am an/a asshole, bastard, chye bye fucking frank person..
sometimes i think its the things u do, that make me become such a person..
im not trying to defend for myself..
think abt it..
sometimes i reallie think i went overboard..
most of time its u costs me to do so..
sometimes is im too sacastic..
i know..

i don want to be calculative and say wat u made me angry or fed up..
but i say the nice ones..
i reallie appreciate the small things u do for me.
when i cried, u gave me servelette and water..
be there for me..
always accompany me
but donnoe who accompany who yea..
sometimes i talk so much sense to you, u understand wat im trying to say?

do u know why at times i scold you?
think..
u're not stupid..
seriously..
but u always fly high when u think u're smart..
so i never like to praise you..
your ego, is just like the cap u wear always so high..

u're guy, but u wanna be petty with me..
i apologise..
u don accept..
i called u...
u reject..
wat u want me to do?
go down find u?

i lower myself to say all that..
u don want..
too bad, im egoistical too..

i know ur mom treat u that bad.. u want comfort from ur frenz..
my comfort for u, is scolding u..
bro, i really want u to be stronger..
i've met ppl worst than you..
wat u're in, might be too heavy for you..
think again wats ur broad shoulder for?
wats that dick and 2 balls for?
not just for fuck..
why god give u so much extra?
coz god think u're or u've the ability..
when u think abt urself..
think abt others..
there's always someone worst than u do..
i know its difficult
because u're quite pampered..

usually no one understand..
until they think..
so i actuallie don blame u..
cause u always don think..
and i always don like to state the obvious..

bro, i still wanna say im sorrie..
if u still wanna be petty..
then, yea.. let it be..
take care..
i know u wont kill yourself..
cause u're more coward than me..

the kiss of imu at 12:21 PM .

a known thing that..
my heart have alot of scar..
these scars hold my heart tgt.
now i felt as though millions of needles pierce through my heart
had sew my muscle, my skin and my bones tgt..

my smile has been taken away..
now

my laughter might be gone too..

my tears will only came out on my right eye..

i forced myself to cry in the toilet to darren..

to hope the pain will decease..

no!!!

im forcing myself not to think abt it..

instead sleep..

i couldnt..

it was too torturous..

probably only 1 guy will understand how i felt..

and now i understand how she felt..

the kiss of imu at 10:19 PM .

didnt see the need to blog nowadaes.. now that blogs bores me.. im afraid my entries bore ppl.. and i wrote one but it didnt want to publish.. i passed my interview.. yea thats abt all..
she's leaving the school
and going to thailand to kill herself with michelle.
i drank with her ytd, but didnt manage or have the courage to say to her..
2 heniken and 1 baron..
don want to think so much.
don want to miss you so much..
i don'te want to know..

the kiss of imu at 4:49 AM .